


you never taught me how to say goodbye to us

by Y_yo_a_ti_Cas_Core



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (Will add more tags along the way to not spoil), Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Castiel Deserves Nice Things (Supernatural), Castiel is happy (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Whump, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Dean Winchester, John Winchester A+ parenting, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Sad with a Happy Ending, Sam Winchester is Not Okay, Sam Winchester is awesome, Won't add major character death and y'all will discover why after
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28583406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Y_yo_a_ti_Cas_Core/pseuds/Y_yo_a_ti_Cas_Core
Summary: After 4 years living on a different universe, Dean Winchester is back to the real world, but will he be able to forget about his past? Will he be able to come back? Only time will tellOrWhat if the hero, after spending years on a mystical world, came back to the real world
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	you never taught me how to say goodbye to us

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, this fanfic is my first one, I will accept any constructive criticism
> 
> The whole fic is planned out, just need to write it. The fanfic is not exactly dark, but not totally light. It has it moments
> 
> The first chapter is a little more darker, but I promise everything will be explained and the story will have a satisfying ending
> 
> And if you haven't seen the tags
> 
> TW: Grief and Abusive parents

"The saddest part in life is saying goodbye to someone you wished to spend your lifetime with"

-unknown

\--------------------

Love may be a drug, but still, there's no rehab for it

And who knew this better than Dean Winchester? 

Dying felt like winning, while living felt like hell. No, his honeybee wasn't gone, he wouldn't dare

But it's part of war to let your loved ones go, even if he couldn't accept now

-/-

Dark alleys, Dirty subways, same old world, same old regrets. "Turn left, then right, on the rusty and metal door, you put the key" He whispered to himself, John's words never left his head

Finally. The old door was standing there, rather ugly and not even a little inviting, maybe it wasn't the door, but what, or rather who, lived there, either way, the boy opened it

~<~

"NO RUNNING ON THE WAR ROOM KIDS, HOW MANY TIMES I NEED TO TELL YA?!" The old man screamed, clearly a little annoyed

"But Bobby, how will we save the people from monsters if not running?" His younger self asked with big, puppy eyes

"Yeah Bobby" Jo said, clearly satisfied with Dean's answer

"Dean! Listen to Bobby, also, Joanna, before I forget, your mom is asking for you to give back her knife or something" A gruffy voice said behind them

"Oh, hi dad" A gummy smile appeared on his younger self face

"Uh-Oh, my mom will be pissed if I don't go, bye Dean, Mr. Winchester" Jo waved before running away to other room

"And you Dean, go find Sam, you kids have training to do" The same voice turned more authoritive now

Dean only shooked his head and John, pleased with the answer, headed to the training camp

~<~

Inside there were two guards, who seemed to have awaken with the metal door crack

Quickly grabbing their guns, they carefully asked "What are you doing here, kid?" 

But, before he could answer, the guards were on the top of the staircase, searching him and any possible threat the boy could carry 

They found his knifes and a gun that were quickly sealed on a bag as he was dragged to the dungeon

-/-

Garth knocked on the door politely, the drunk rag was probably sleeping by now, but this was urgent.

Before the second know hitted the wood door, a clean and rather fancy man emerged from the room

"What do you want asshole?" The same man hissed, it was two AM, no one could wait 8 hours without him? Goddamn it

"Mr. Winchester, there's an intruder" Garth said carefully, not wanting to receive any rage from the Winchester

John was suddenly totally awake

-/-

Oh great, he was trapped to a table, no one knew who he was, really? He was the son's leader, no one had realized it yet?

He didn't even had time to change that green frosted tips that Charlie made him do, goddamn it. But before Dean could regret all his life choices, a young, dark haired woman came in, telling him that they needed to make quick tests, 

After the holy water didn't burned, the silver didn't burbled his skin, no sign of fangs and a fancy looking machine said he was human she left the room

-/-

"Have you gotten their name or anything that matters?" John came in demanding at the guard who was standing outside the door

"We haven't interrogated him yet, but we did the tests and he's 100% human" The guard said professionally, "Actually we were waiting for you, sir, so you can interrogate the criminal" 

"Can't do anything by themselves" John muttered before barging into the one-way mirror room 

The boy that was on the other end of the mirror was familiar, too familiar, the green eyes, the nose, the shape of the face.... If it wasn't for the frosted green highligts, he might even be... No, this was stupid, his boy was dead, it took time to accept, but that was just another wall built along the way. 'But what if' A little part of him thought, even if he tried to be cold and analytical, a little stupid feeling slipped from that protection he so carefully built, imperfect humans with too many imperfect feelings.

"Are you sure he's human?" John asked, trying to find a way to reasonate anything

"Yes sir, 100% human, Braeden did the test, she is one of our best" The guard said

"Caucasian, 6 ft tall, blonde, name unknown, Carried a silver knife,a picture of him and a group, the members are unknown and a wooden charm"

Looking at the bag his items were sealed, one item caught his attention, the charm, exactly like the one Dean had... A significant amount of hope entered him, perhaps?

"I-I will talk to the criminal now" John said "Oh, and you're sure he's human, right?" He added before going in and as a reply, the guard nodded "Good"

-

"Oh, hey dad" 'Stick to the plan, Stick to the plan, Dean' 

"Look who the cat has dragged in" John said, chuckling to himself "'I can live by myself, I'm not your little soldier anymore' Remember those words Dean-o?" 

"I'm here to redempt myself" Dean sighed "And come back" he added

"I knew you would come back, of course you would come crawling and begging, you're too weak to live by yourself" 

"Still lived without you for 4 years" Dean muttered

"Yes you did, proud of you, son" John said ironically "But couldn't do it forever, could ya? That happy life didn't fitted you, at the end of the day you're always Dean Winchester, just Dean Winchester, never belonged to anywhere if not with your own people. You really thought you could leave your old life on unfinished business status forever?" John asked rhetorically

"leave your duty? Be someone else? laughable, deep down you know who you really are, a soldier, a killer, not a friend or love material" John said 

That words brought Dean's oldest fears back, but Cas' voice reasonated through his head "You're your own person Dean, you will know when you find the place where you belong, cause there it will be safe to be you freely" He wouldn't be trapped on John's mindgames anymore, never again

"But it seems you finally found your path to come back home, with time all of your mistakes will be forgiven Dean, until then, come with Garth, he will show your room" John added, the cold air shifted, was he going to accept him that easily?

"But also remember, we will mind every step you make, for now, I don't trust you" John added, made sense, but shit

With no time Garth was standing on the door

-

The place was nothing like his room with Cas, no Leia poster hanging on the wall, no fairy lights on the celling, no weird plants, no warmth

The room was just gray, with a bed in the middle, his guns still hanging on the wall, the photo album still there, the room was exactly like before, there was even a little dust on the room. It seemed that John had hoped for him to come back

After cleaning it a little, making the room more homey

Instead of heading straight to bed, the boy grabbed an old recorder and pressed play

"Hey honeybee, I miss us a lot, at the end of the day, you never taught me how to say goodbye to us" Dean said trying to not let that overwhelming feeling to cry take over

"John took me back...." He said almost whispering, his voice was cracking, the calm before the storm

"Everything is crumbling down, Cas, I lost everyone and I came back to my abusive father hands, goddamn, everything I fought for is either dying or disappearing" Dean said a little louder, feeling a overwhelming void in his chest, maybe it consuming him wouldn't be so bad, numbness was safe, it was easier

"This was not supposed to happen, we should've been married on August, I shouldn't have fought with you that night, you should've lived like you wanted to, this was not supposed to happen" He cried a little, he should've been sleeping with Cas at this time of the night

"Imagine us growing old, being the bickering married couple, imagine a world where you weren't lost, a nice house with so a big hive and I would have to make a stock with peanut butter and grape jelly" He laughed, A happy life, without the burden on his shoulders

"Imagine us and the crew, laughing, playing stupid games, making stupid dares, living a little, being teenagers for a while" Dean said, thinking about that imaginary life actually helped, maybe if he could just enter his mind and live there forever

Then he yawned, it was too late to think about anything, he just wanted that day to be over,

"Bye love, see ya tomorrow" Dean said, like he always said before heading to sleep, and then stopped the recording and went to bed, 

that god took mercy of his soul and killed him that night

**Author's Note:**

> So, what are my plans to the next chapters? (No spoilers)
> 
> \- Sam going to be a major character, don't worry
> 
> \- The tapes Dean is making will be explained
> 
> \- I will explain the Men Of Letters system and the world Dean left
> 
> \- Is Cas dead, is he alive? Sorry, but this will be explained more to the end
> 
> \- Dean will suffer, sorry
> 
> \- The whole John's caring and abusive side will be talked about
> 
> \- This story will be long, there are many stuff I want to explore
> 
> \- And, I'm already working on the next chapter
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos, it will help a lot


End file.
